I am relieved, and humbled, by the boldness of this article. It says what I couldn't (or more accurately, wouldn't) and takes the stand on an issue on which my own legs always seem to give out. Relevant Magazine's The Friends With Benefits Epidemic by Lauren Lankford responds to the issue of the degradation of sex and love with truth and transparency.
The topic is one of many I often feel prompted to say something about, but am always defeated by the infamously powerful four words: "No, that'd be weird." Way too often do I find myself bowing out of conversations I should probably be initiating, if not simply contributing to, just because of my unreasonable insecurities. Gosh, I wonder what that says of my faith? Probably that it's more invested in fear and pride rather than an Almighty God; Every time I foolishly believe that I've transferred all my faith into His account, I discover stashes of it in the pockets of horrendous jeans I wouldn't be caught dead in and piles of it in closets I've had shut forever. Man.
Ironically enough, I stumbled upon the article through my friend's blog, Let There Be Courage. Haha, as if God couldn't make my encounter with the topic any more personal- and His call to action, any more obvious.
I have to commend (admire, praise, emulate, ... must learn more verbs!) the writer and her blunt presentation, of not just the issue, but of herself. She doesn't distance herself from her audience at accusations-length. No, instead, as soon as introductions are made, she stands herself in front of her topic and allows everyone an accurate perception of what she is: someone who knows the weight of choices made apart from God. The weight of spiritual death. "I remember being a freshman in high school, believing heart and soul that I would wait for marriage to have sex. I'd never kissed a boy, and I didn't plan on it until I was engaged. Fast-forward four or five years, and I've made out for fun, for comfort, for love and for revenge. Fast-forward another two or three years, and I'm sleeping with someone I'm not even dating." (Lankford).
The abuse of sex and love is a tragedy. It's a manipulation of the heart and a distortion of God's perfect intentions. I'm not trying to be inventive or thoughtful or meaningful- I'd feel accomplished if I could just get myself to be honest. And here it is: it hurts. Contorting a relationship and breaking the original purposes for intimacy don't make your love more flexible- it breaks bones. It gives you a handicapped perception of all your next relationships; He won't be "the one", he'll be "on the side". He won't be your boyfriend, he won't be your anything.
But you were created for something different. There is more. Lankford puts it this way: "You were created for hot, passionate sex"! Sex is not inherently bad! It was never intended to seem wrong or shameful. But it was made for one specific relationship: the married kind. The forever kind. And more importantly, through that marriage, "...you were created to experience unconditional, committed love" (Lankford).
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins" 1 John 4:10. This... is it. Love will not use you and desert you. Love will not aim for anything less than what's best for you. Love will fight for you, even unto death. Let Jesus validate your decision to stop settling. Let Him lead you out of that damaging relationship and into a healing one with Himself. (Perhaps also one with a gentleman or woman who will lay down his or her life for you.) Let Him be your reason.
It's fanciful to believe that we can remain unmarred by premarital sex and uncommitted relationships- but so is trying to be pure if you don't understand why you should be. Get to know God and His ridiculously immense love for you. Your life will change.
No comments:
Post a Comment